No Business...

He's a great leader of the Labour party - I

just can't remember his name.

***

Short Term Economic Farce

Red Ed

&

In-the-Red Ed

***

Keeping His Distance

Get thee behind me Satan: I've got enough

fucking troubles as it is.

***

Labour Pains

Where are those

Men in Grey Suits when you need them?

***

More Briefed Against Than Briefing

There is no challenge to my leadership... because

there is no leadership.

***

The Neutralisation Of The Haggis

They said YES would vote with their hearts.

They said NO would vote with their heads.

In fact

Scots voted with their wallets.

***

Et Tu, Brute?

I came.

I saw.

I completely fucked it up.

***

Lynton's Spotted The Wrong Strides

I get it! I see what I'm doing wrong!

I'm trying to wear my brother's trousers!

***

Ediquette

Do you think I can eat this without looking

geeky, weird and stupid, Gromit?

***

It's a Cam-Junck

We did it, Camo my boy!

We isolated 26 member states!

Now we can reform whatever we please together.

Let's have a Cognac to celebrate.

***

With Friends Like These...

Enjoy your Champagne moment, Mr Juncker.

The hangover is going to be very difficult to shift.

***

Murdoch She Wrote

I'll see your Coulson and raise you Deng.

***

See also: Close to The Sun   and   Deng-Dong - Seconds Out!

Hunger Games

Surely Chicken Chiellini is a bona fide

Italian dish...?

***

Employee Of The Decade

I always thought it took two, Baby.

***

See also:  Headline Grabbers

The European Booze Cruise

Of course people should choose me. 

I single-handedly got rid of the EU wine lake.

***

Dave's Penalty Shoot-out

C'mon you Juncker!

***

Don't Stop Me Now

Now THIS is what it's really all about.

And my salary of course.

***

Only Sing When You're Winning

Very pleased to announce the launch of our new band:

3 Plebs and a Toff.

Our debut single will be a cover of the classic by

Europe: The Final Countdown.

***

Bringing Achilles To Heel?

MAY:  If I were in your shoes, matey, I'd tread carefully.

GOVE:  If I were in your shoes, dear, I'd look a right Nancy Boy.

***

Agent Provodkateur

My name is Vladimir Putin and I claim

Ukraine!

***

See also: Putin's Putative Putsch