Waste Of Space...?

And Voyager 1 leaves the Solar System...

in search of Planet Miliband.

***

Part Of The Union

ROD: I'm a leftie, you know.

ED: I wish I wasn't.

***

They Made Him An Offer He Couldn't Refuse

Big Brothers are watching you.

***

Putting His Foot In It

Your mission, should you decide to accept,

is to render Ed Miliband unelectable.

(This subject will self-destruct in about 2 years)

***

Democracy At Work

Ed Miliband plays politics on Europe.


***

Magic

It will be a flexible cap and I will

raise it and lower it just like this.

***

Speaking Human

I'm as camp as a Great Big Tent.

***

Two Ed's Are Better Than One

RED ED: You're the one that I want.

BALLS ED: You're the job that I want.

***

Clone Of Brown

BROWN: One day, Ed, all this will be yours.

Then four months later it will all be mine again.

By proxy.

***

see also: Red In Tooth And Claws

Self-Delivery

BALLS: Your redundancy cheque's in the post, mate.

***

Wrong Kind Of Splash?

Red Ed soon came to realise that

Hot Air alone was not enough

to keep the balloon airborne.

***

Something Of The Night About Them

OK, I've checked the small-print. If you nod off

in the House it can be counted as your second home

for expenses puposes.

***

Help! I Need Somebody

Lib Dems - as one tragic mistake to another -

come and join me.

***

Do The Math

Erm... Labour 14,718 votes.

LibDems 11,160 votes.

Tories 4,481 votes.

Er... add up... carry... equals...

Yep, Ed. I can definitely confirm

we got more votes than the Coalition.

***

Putting The Old Back Into Labour

RED ED: I strongly deny that our candidate

is Phil Woolas in drag.

***

My Old & Sad Brother

RED ED: I had a rosette - it was this big -

but my brother pinched it for a trip to

Sunderland. Bastard.

***

It's A Mythtery

It's not a lisp.

I was talkimg about the Government's "myth".

Not "myth".

***

The VAT's Out Of The Bag

Did you realise that a 2.5 % rise in VAT

means that a blank page goes up by this many policies?

***

Sleeping Giant

Coalition strategists assess how long it

will be before the

Union Colossus breaks free.

***

Red Ed's Herod Strategy

HEALEY: We now discover that not only

has the Coalition cut 'flu' jabs

for the under fives

but they also are going to kill

the first born of every family in the country.

***