Labour's Un-convent-ional Approach

Tristram Hunt decides to weaponize

Nuns.

***

No Business...

He's a great leader of the Labour party - I

just can't remember his name.

***

Comet Eclipses The Sun

It's OK 'cos I'm wearing a

"This Is What A Feminist Looks Like"

tee shirt underneath.

***

Curtains For Ed...?

I want to represent real people with real lives

so I won't answer questions about decor because

real people never decorate their homes.

***

Real Brits Don't Wear Tartan

Scotland - really?

Please go. Just go.

***

Hunger Games

Surely Chicken Chiellini is a bona fide

Italian dish...?

***

You Couldn't Fabricant It

The only differences between

Rod and Yasmin

are their sex, their colour

and their own personal brand of hypocrisy.

***

New World Ballsup

I'm sorry, sir. This is Bilderberg.

No Flatliners allowed.

***

Ex Leader Of The Opposition In Waiting

Stodgy, difficult to swallow and, basically, toast.

I'm talking about the bacon sandwich, of course.

***

The Ultimate Indignity

Celebs photo-bombed by a Muppet.


***

U - N - C - O - U - P - L - I - N - G *

We got to the point where we realised that

there's just not enough fruit in our relationship.

***

*With apologies to Tammy Wynette:

Sniffing Power?

I don't blame people for thinking I'm weird, y'know,

'cos I think I'm weird.

***

Vine via Harry Cole/Twitter:

***

Fudgerendum

It's a kinda in-out-shake-it-all-about

referendum.

My favourite kind!

***

Love The Shirt

And when we get Independence we'll wear

kilts with this.

***

They Don't Like it Up 'Em

Captain Mainwaring, if you call me a "Dromey"

again I'll report you to Harriett Harman.

***

The Only Way Is Balls-Up

Just like to introduce my new

Shadow Chancellor.

***

Edless Chicken

Thanks Ballsy. Now get your coat.

***

Smug Pommie Cheat Strikes Again

The Brisbane Courier reports that a "wild dingo"

invaded the Gabba pitch and snatched five 

Aussie "Batting Babies" today.

***

It's All At The Co-Op

I'm not sure which line to take.

***

Space Monkey

That Roy Hodgson's got a bloody cheek if you ask me.

I certainly took offence.

***