One Out All Out

What a tika-tacky ceremony.

***

George's First Words

Abdication  Abdication  Abdication

***

Bill Minor

I dunno, the lengths some people will go to

to avoid the bedroom tax.

***

And In Other News...

Kate goes into Labour.

Labour goes into intensive care.

***

No Argie-Bargie

When I find out who the THREE were

I'll have their friggin' heads.

***

What Kate Did

And did I mention she's a coke-head, a racist

and shoots cats and dogs with a crossbow?

***

Going Dutch

Is this the Jubilee line... or the Abdication Line?

***

When Harry Met Tali

We did a deal with the media:

write nice stories about me or I'll kill you.

***

link: Game On

That Mona Lisa Smirk

Next time I think we'll ask Banksy.

***

Medium Or Message?

LIZ: Good morning, everyone. Shall I start us off?

Is there anybody there?

***

England Expects...

The paparazzi better bloody behave themselves

or we'll set

Lord Justice Leveson

onto them.

***

No Mention Of The "A" Word, Then

Sport is extremely important to all

our young people.

I cannot, for the life of me, understand

why every school doesn't have

its own Polo team.

***

Variety Of Life

CAMILLA: These are your subjects, Charles!

CHARLES: In that case I think I'll plump

for the pre-abdication option.

***

Putin's Greatest Hits

No-one schmoozes like the Russian Mafia.

***

In-Flight Entertainment

Damned Commoners and their

breeding habits.

This country will rue the day after

April 29th, you mark my words.

***

Plighting The Troth

WILLIAM: Well I thought I'd make use of

my Mum's ring and my Dad's fidelity.

***

Royal Wedding Special

Austerity measures blah!

The Nation can afford it!

***

One's Social Network

So... who's going to be first to

Poke the Queen?

***

Civil Liz: The Queen Cuts Back

SUBJECT: Ma'm, give me back my 62p

and you'll only be one tupperware box down.

***

Bob's Yer Carbuncle

CHARLES: That is an eyesore. It should be knocked down.

REPORTER: It's Buckingham Palace, sir. Your Mother's house.

CHARLES: She doesn't know the first thing about architecture.

***