No Shoo In

Why I need two pairs of shoes at £65 each is

because I have two left feet.

***

Defining Moments

KINNOCK:  Are y'all-right?

MILIBAND: Hell yes!

***

Short Term Economic Farce

Red Ed

&

In-the-Red Ed

***

Keeping His Distance

Get thee behind me Satan: I've got enough

fucking troubles as it is.

***

Labour Pains

Where are those

Men in Grey Suits when you need them?

***

More Briefed Against Than Briefing

There is no challenge to my leadership... because

there is no leadership.

***

Vacuum

Yes, Harriett, but I haven't got time to

frame any policies because I'm too busy

researching Soaps online.

***

Green & Pleasant

No, Harriet.

I hear no EVEL.

I see no EVEL.

I speak no EVEL.

***

Curtains For Ed...?

I want to represent real people with real lives

so I won't answer questions about decor because

real people never decorate their homes.

***

Ediquette

Do you think I can eat this without looking

geeky, weird and stupid, Gromit?

***

Sub Ed

It's OK. I'm not reading it. Just looking

at the pictures.

***

Three Wheels On My Wagon

ED:  And this is my serious face.

AXELROD:  Yup. We're gonna have to lose that.

***

Another Pfizer Cock-up

Roll up! Roll up!

Who else wants to put the boot into me

for being a rape apologist?

***

And The Oscar For Political Naïvity Goes To...

What I look for in a Socilaist Political Broadcast:

1.  Does it promote Class War?  Check.

2.  Does it represent Grown Up Politics?  Check.

3.  Is it Geeky, Weird, Cringeworthy and Embarassing?

Check.

So, let's air it. It shows all the hallmarks of

my intellectual self-confidence.

***

Touché:

The Incredible Shrinking Poll Lead

We couldn't use colour - couldn't afford it.

***

I Never Promised You The Rose Garden

Pink roses sir? A pale imitation…

***

The Ultimate Indignity

Celebs photo-bombed by a Muppet.


***

The Colour Of Blood

Don't worry, Ed. When I see Ralph

I won't let on how you've sold out Socialism.

***

Fudgerendum

It's a kinda in-out-shake-it-all-about

referendum.

My favourite kind!

***

The Only Way Is Balls-Up

Just like to introduce my new

Shadow Chancellor.

***