More Equal

HARRIET: Here, Jack, take the bag.

JACK: What's in it?

HARRIET: Your parachute.

***

Move Over Darling...?

You see - I survived the

Forces of Hell -

apart from getting my

eyebrows singed.

***

LORD Mandelson, To You

BROWN: What's the matter?

MANDELSON: Prescott nutted me.

BROWN: Why?

MANDELSON: 'Cos I said you're a bigger bully than him.

***

Support Your Local Bully

Now get your Nokia-slinging, tangerine-chucking,

garden-girl-bitch-slapping arse out here

and explain why you've been

contacting a

Bullying Helpline.

***

Hands Off THIS Gold, Gordon

Congratulations, Amy, on winning the

Gold Medal

for Great Britain.

Yes, I do know what a skeleton is.

In fact I'm standing next to one

in my cupboard

right now.

***

...Burning Bright...?

If you put lipstick on a tiger

it's still a tiger

isn't it?

***

A Corus Of Disapproval

And to boost jobs I can today announce

the opening of a brand new

Mothball Factory

here on Teesside.

***

Damascus? I Doubt It

Yes, Piers. He's the biggest present I am

not allowed to keep.

***

What Goes Around...

BBC scriptwriters used

Doctor Who

to try and bring down Margaret Thatcher.

With

Gordon Brown

it's

The Teletubbies.

***

link: ...Comes Around.

*

The Crying Game

BROWN: And then... and then, you see... I could talk about Tony and the way he stitched me up...

MORGAN: Yes... yes...

BROWN: And then... you ask me some question... er... yes! about Sarah...

MORGAN: ...er... proposal...?

BROWN: Yes! Exactly! I can describe the proposal...

MORGAN:  OK... I see...

BROWN: And then... the coup de grace...

MORGAN: ...yes...?

BROWN: Jennifer! The death of my daughter! In my arms! I could... er...

MORGAN: ...yes?

BROWN: ...almost... you know... cry.

MORGAN: But didn't you criticise Cameron for using his family...?

BROWN: Who gives a fuck? It will make the people LOVE me.

***

Psychologically Flawed of Fife

His Latest Rendition...

The use of a strategically placed banana

does NOT constitute

torture under British Law.

***

A Flake Worse Than Death 2

MANDELSON:

And I am proud to name this new box of

Cadbury's Chocolates

"Empty Promises"

***

Crocodile Piers

They always said that the whole

New Labour

thing would end in tears.

***

Mr 52 Per Cent

Yes - it's my double-whammy!

Record finacial bankruptcy in the country.

And

Record moral bankruptcy in Parliament.

***

Lemon Difficult

Oscar Nomination: Best Adapted Screenplay

ARMANDO IANNUCCI: You could say

In The Loop

was adapted staright from the Chilcot Inquiry.

[actual quote]

link:  Lemon Difficult

Psephological Prevarication

On the one hand you have

First Past The Post

and on the other hand you have

Full Proportional Representation

and between them you can

Dither In The Middle.

So - let's Dither.

***