You Couldn't Fabricant It

The only differences between

Rod and Yasmin

are their sex, their colour

and their own personal brand of hypocrisy.

***

Punching Below His Weight

Reports that Douglas and I had to be pulled

apart are wide of the mark.

I battered the wee bastard.

***

Two Ed's Are Better Than One

RED ED: You're the one that I want.

BALLS ED: You're the job that I want.

***

Clone Of Brown

BROWN: One day, Ed, all this will be yours.

Then four months later it will all be mine again.

By proxy.

***

see also: Red In Tooth And Claws

Self-Delivery

BALLS: Your redundancy cheque's in the post, mate.

***

Ed's Migrating Brain

The problem is 80% of my

information comes from

Gordon Brown.

***

Berlusconi Loves A Mars

VENUS: Two little pricks in the office are

better than one, I suppose.

***

link:  Berlusconi Loves A Mars

*

Backbench Rebellion

And I would say this to the House:

bollocks to you all.

***

The Postman Always Asks Twice

JOHNSON:  Yvette, what's the Shadow Chancellor's brief?

COOPER: It's the economy, stupid.

JOHNSON: Ed, what's the Shadow Chancellor's brief?

BALLS: It's the economy, stupid.

***

Red Ed & Dead Ed

***

Labour Members' Ballot Health Warning

Caution: may contain traces of nuts.

***

Five Bare Their Souls On The Hustings

2015: New Prime Minister Diane Abbot

with her four bodyguards.

(Two Labour, one Conservitive-lite and one

non-descript: the ties have it)

***

New Labour, Old Habits... 4

BROWN: So, Ed, I could play Damian McBride

to your Gordon...

***

see also:

New Labour, Old Habits... 1

New Labour, Old Habits... 2

New Labour, Old Habits... 3

&

Picture Of The Year 2009

*

New Labour, Old Habits... 3

Dear Ed,

I could play Alistair Campbell to your Gordon,

David's Tony and Yvette's Mandelson.

What do you think?

***

see also:

New Labour, Old Habits... 1

New Labour, Old Habits... 2

*

New Labour, Old Habits... 2

COOPER: Ed, I could play Mandelson to your

Gordon and David's Tony.

***

see also: New Labour Old Habits... 1 [below]

*

New Labour, Old Habits...

BALLS: Look, mate, I could play Gordon

to your Tony.

***

Swat Swatted

GOVE: Yes, Ed, of course I apologise.

I apologise for being more intelligent, better looking, a much nicer chap

and, incredibly, even smugger than you.

***

That Vuvu-Labour Moment

They all sound the same.

***

Young, Gifted and White

ALL: Thank goodness Diane has been nominated

otherwise I would have been the only

"different" candidate.

***

Playing The Loyalty Card

John McDonnell regrets not assassinating Thatcher.

Well I regret not assassinating Brown.

But I'm having a jolly good go at it now.

***