Et Tu, Brute?

I came.

I saw.

I completely fucked it up.

***

Smoked Salmond

Alex Salmond's Plan B.

***

Real Brits Don't Wear Tartan

Scotland - really?

Please go. Just go.

***

U - N - C - O - U - P - L - I - N - G *

We got to the point where we realised that

there's just not enough fruit in our relationship.

***

*With apologies to Tammy Wynette:

Follow The Money

Of course we have a Plan B. If the UK rejects monetary union

with an independent Scotland we will use our own

version of Bitcoin: Scotcon. Sorry, I mean Scotcoin.

***

It's All At The Co-Op

I'm not sure which line to take.

***

Summertime Blues

The World Cup will be played in Qatar.

It will be played in summer.

It will be played on XBox with FIFA 14.

***

BBC's New Series...

The Land Grabbers.

***

Update

cast info has been released:

Rachel Reeves as Nora the Snorer

Ed Balls as Fiscal O’Flatline 

Hilary Benn as  Daddy Flashback

Andy Burnham as Mad Doc Grabrail

Douglas Alexander as Goody McWee

Yvette Cooper as ’Er Indoors

Harriet Harman as ’Im Indoors

Chuka Umanna as Wiki The Lad 

Sadique Khan as Maybe The Mayor

Jim Murphy as Neville Chamberlain

Angela Eagle as Maria Eagle

Maria Eagle as Angela Eagle

Carline Flint as The Joker

Stephen Twigg as Shuffle The Fool

Liam Byrne as Workshy Nocashleft

with

Some Others No One Has Heard Of

and

introducing

Ed Miliband as Little Geek / Power Man

[quick changes in nearest conservatory]

***

Smart Enough?

The time? Er... it's on here somewhere.

***

Spanish Bale Out

I intend to justify my fee by becoming as

massive as the Rock of Gibralta.

***

Sportsman Of The Eras

You see, Fred: This is how to dress.

Not some ropey old polo shirt.

***

What Me, Guv?

I was only trying to protect the interests of the

Green Lobby.

What do you mean "Tim Yeo is the Green Lobby"?

***