Scot Free-ish

Just for a wee moment there I thought that

Idi Amin wasn't going to be the last

King of Scotland

after all.

***

Curtains For Ed...?

I want to represent real people with real lives

so I won't answer questions about decor because

real people never decorate their homes.

***

Dave's Penalty Shoot-out

C'mon you Juncker!

***

Mandela's Brand Of Democracy

Any thoughts, Russell?

***

Tunnel Vision

And would the last Energy Company to

leave Britain

please turn out the lights.

***

BBC's New Series...

The Land Grabbers.

***

Update

cast info has been released:

Rachel Reeves as Nora the Snorer

Ed Balls as Fiscal O’Flatline 

Hilary Benn as  Daddy Flashback

Andy Burnham as Mad Doc Grabrail

Douglas Alexander as Goody McWee

Yvette Cooper as ’Er Indoors

Harriet Harman as ’Im Indoors

Chuka Umanna as Wiki The Lad 

Sadique Khan as Maybe The Mayor

Jim Murphy as Neville Chamberlain

Angela Eagle as Maria Eagle

Maria Eagle as Angela Eagle

Carline Flint as The Joker

Stephen Twigg as Shuffle The Fool

Liam Byrne as Workshy Nocashleft

with

Some Others No One Has Heard Of

and

introducing

Ed Miliband as Little Geek / Power Man

[quick changes in nearest conservatory]

***

Upping The Ante

I'll raise you two cannisters of mustard gas

and a Sarin shell.

***

Heir To Blair's Disaster

Sorry, Barack, but there was nothing I could do:

this was an outright blue on blue chemical attack.

***

George's First Words

Abdication  Abdication  Abdication

***

USP

Our policy is very clear:

We will introduce a completely new kind of shop - separate to

supermarkets, wine shops and newsagents -

which sell, exclusively,

plain-packaged cigarettes

minimum-priced alcohol

and warm pasties with added VAT

especilaly for those who wish to take advantage of these

consumer items.

Everyone else can shop as normal.

***

Putting His Foot In It

Your mission, should you decide to accept,

is to render Ed Miliband unelectable.

(This subject will self-destruct in about 2 years)

***

Defending England

Just trying to show we are

institutionally anti-racist, sir.

***

The Bilderberg Effect

For the avoidance of doubt we are NOT

appearing at

The Grove, Watford

this week.

***

Legacy

The Munchkins at no. 2 is a satire on ME...?

You turn in your grave if you want to...

***

She's No Evita

Don't cry for us dear Christina

The truth is we never liked you

All through those war days

Our mad existence

We kept our promise: 

Just keep your distance.

***

Adapted from Don't Cry For Me Argentina, lyrics Tim Rice, music Andrew Lloyd Webber [from the musical Evita].

No Argie-Bargie

When I find out who the THREE were

I'll have their friggin' heads.

***

'Till Death Do Us Part

The marriage, gay or otherwise, between

my party and myself as leader

can never be annulled as it is fully consummated.

I've fucked them and they have well and truly fucked me.

***

Euro-Sceptics' Ultimatum To Cameron

Europe: In or Out?

***

Rose [Garden] Tinted Spectacles

I actually don't see it as a "onesie": I see it as a Designer Boiler Suit.

In the same way that I don't see it as a Coalition:

I see it as a Designer People's Government.

***

link:  onesie agrees with Nick

Happy New Year, Guvnors

Fireworks at the Houses of Parliament:

looks like Guido Fawkes is still at it.

***