Comet Eclipses The Sun

It's OK 'cos I'm wearing a

"This Is What A Feminist Looks Like"

tee shirt underneath.

***

Para-Norman

This is a full-length bus tour of Narnia -

so bagsy me be the Wardrobe.

***

Democracy At Work

Ed Miliband plays politics on Europe.


***

Closer Examination

I am re-writing history before it is made.

***

'Till Death Do Us Part

The marriage, gay or otherwise, between

my party and myself as leader

can never be annulled as it is fully consummated.

I've fucked them and they have well and truly fucked me.

***

Alien Abduction...?

They say you're dead, Reg...

But I wanna know for sure.

***

link:  Crop Circles & UFO's.

A Franchise To Infinity... And Beyond

When I find that blinking

Darth Vader

I'll wring his little neck

for him.

***

Wrong Kind Of Splash?

Red Ed soon came to realise that

Hot Air alone was not enough

to keep the balloon airborne.

***

Send For Monica

BILL: Hilary, I said you needed more

practice going down.

***

link: Hilary's latest trip

Return Of New Labour Space Cadets?

It wasn't long before

Peter Mandelson

was able to re-invent himself.

***

link: hubble bubble

Red Ed's Herod Strategy

HEALEY: We now discover that not only

has the Coalition cut 'flu' jabs

for the under fives

but they also are going to kill

the first born of every family in the country.

***

In-Flight Entertainment

Damned Commoners and their

breeding habits.

This country will rue the day after

April 29th, you mark my words.

***

Entente Hyper-Cordiale

CAMERON: And we'll call it the

Royal Air Frogs.

***

Something In The Air Freight

Let down by old toner cartridges?

Switch to Kodak - so cheap you'll

make a killing.

***



New From EA Sports: "Ultimate Traffic Warden"

Ryanair boss Michael O'Leary claims that

it is "perfectly lawful" to burn the cars

of passengers who refuse to pay the

Ryanair Parking Premium

which they are informed of in-flight.

***

And For My Next Trick...

I want everyone to think of laws that should be repealed.

I'll start.

David Laws.

***

In Your American Dreams

JUDGE:

You are charged with compromising national security by passing the following information to the Russians:

1. The plot-line of the next Disney film.

2. The actual beef content of a Big Mac.

3. The secret location where Michael Jackson and Elvis are living, having faked their deaths.

How do you plead?

DEFENDENTS:

American, your honour.

***

Three Truths On Their Shirt

Over-rated.

Over-hyped.

Over-paid.

[And that's just the Manager]

***

Here's A Hot Tip...

Abject Capitulation to beat Golden Generation

in the vuvuzela stakes -

the richest non-event in sporting history.

***

Green Agenda

Typical bloody Yanks covering the ball

with oil - just to make a point.

***