Defining Moments

KINNOCK:  Are y'all-right?

MILIBAND: Hell yes!

***

Divided Nation

Rochester and Strewth, Emily, what were you

thinking of?

***

Keeping His Distance

Get thee behind me Satan: I've got enough

fucking troubles as it is.

***

Ex Leader Of The Opposition In Waiting

Stodgy, difficult to swallow and, basically, toast.

I'm talking about the bacon sandwich, of course.

***

Another Pfizer Cock-up

Roll up! Roll up!

Who else wants to put the boot into me

for being a rape apologist?

***

Another Serious Point From Wee Dougie

Ed, I know there's no VAT on food but

nobody will notice.

***

#Black&Whiteischeaper

And The Oscar For Political Naïvity Goes To...

What I look for in a Socilaist Political Broadcast:

1.  Does it promote Class War?  Check.

2.  Does it represent Grown Up Politics?  Check.

3.  Is it Geeky, Weird, Cringeworthy and Embarassing?

Check.

So, let's air it. It shows all the hallmarks of

my intellectual self-confidence.

***

Touché:

The Incredible Shrinking Poll Lead

We couldn't use colour - couldn't afford it.

***

I Never Promised You The Rose Garden

Pink roses sir? A pale imitation…

***

The Colour Of Blood

Don't worry, Ed. When I see Ralph

I won't let on how you've sold out Socialism.

***

Shopping And Fudging...

Seriously, do we look like people who

would shop at the Co-Op?

It's Waitrose for us.

***

He Ain't Heavy He's My Dad

The reason that it falls to me, rather

than my brother, to defend our father is that

David doesn't read the Daily Mail.

***

Tunnel Vision

And would the last Energy Company to

leave Britain

please turn out the lights.

***

BBC's New Series...

The Land Grabbers.

***

Update

cast info has been released:

Rachel Reeves as Nora the Snorer

Ed Balls as Fiscal O’Flatline 

Hilary Benn as  Daddy Flashback

Andy Burnham as Mad Doc Grabrail

Douglas Alexander as Goody McWee

Yvette Cooper as ’Er Indoors

Harriet Harman as ’Im Indoors

Chuka Umanna as Wiki The Lad 

Sadique Khan as Maybe The Mayor

Jim Murphy as Neville Chamberlain

Angela Eagle as Maria Eagle

Maria Eagle as Angela Eagle

Carline Flint as The Joker

Stephen Twigg as Shuffle The Fool

Liam Byrne as Workshy Nocashleft

with

Some Others No One Has Heard Of

and

introducing

Ed Miliband as Little Geek / Power Man

[quick changes in nearest conservatory]

***

Red Ed Is Back

Britain is better than this.

***

Who Dares Spins

The difference between Damian McBride and me is:

he's a prick.

And I'm a holier-than-thou prick.

***

Skeletons In The Cupboard Coming Home To Roost*

And the spins of the father will be visited on the son.

***

* Credit Tom Stoppard.

See Also: Picture Of The Year 2009

***

Fried, Poached And Scrambled

Cone on, Len, I didn't expect you take it

all so seriously.

***

Where's Ed?

Well, you haven't seen muuch of me 'cos

I'm on a zero hours contract

and Len hasn't asked me to turn up for work.

***

The Party Must UNITE

Ed, message from Len. He says:

Now that things have gone quiet and

the media circus has moved on

DO AS I FUCKING TELL YOU.

OK?

***