Agent Provodkateur

My name is Vladimir Putin and I claim

Ukraine!

***

See also: Putin's Putative Putsch

New World Ballsup

I'm sorry, sir. This is Bilderberg.

No Flatliners allowed.

***

Sub Ed

It's OK. I'm not reading it. Just looking

at the pictures.

***

Yellowing Sheets

You've made your bed, Mr Clegg, now

you have to lie on it.

***

Ex Leader Of The Opposition In Waiting

Stodgy, difficult to swallow and, basically, toast.

I'm talking about the bacon sandwich, of course.

***

All Our Futures...

I do this so that all women will have the right to

vote for UKIP!

***

Spot The Difference...

"You know what the difference is."

N. Farage                       .

***

Three Wheels On My Wagon

ED:  And this is my serious face.

AXELROD:  Yup. We're gonna have to lose that.

***

Punching Below His Weight

Reports that Douglas and I had to be pulled

apart are wide of the mark.

I battered the wee bastard.

***

Another Pfizer Cock-up

Roll up! Roll up!

Who else wants to put the boot into me

for being a rape apologist?

***

Another Serious Point From Wee Dougie

Ed, I know there's no VAT on food but

nobody will notice.

***

#Black&Whiteischeaper

And The Oscar For Political Naïvity Goes To...

What I look for in a Socilaist Political Broadcast:

1.  Does it promote Class War?  Check.

2.  Does it represent Grown Up Politics?  Check.

3.  Is it Geeky, Weird, Cringeworthy and Embarassing?

Check.

So, let's air it. It shows all the hallmarks of

my intellectual self-confidence.

***

Touché:

The Incredible Shrinking Poll Lead

We couldn't use colour - couldn't afford it.

***

I Never Promised You The Rose Garden

Pink roses sir? A pale imitation…

***

Max Head Room

"Get thee behind me Satan".

Matthew 16:23                                         .

***

See also:  Policing To The Max.