Follow The Money

Of course we have a Plan B. If the UK rejects monetary union

with an independent Scotland we will use our own

version of Bitcoin: Scotcon. Sorry, I mean Scotcoin.

***

Scot Free. Ish.

We want Independence.

But with stabilisers, please.

***

Shopping And Fudging...

Seriously, do we look like people who

would shop at the Co-Op?

It's Waitrose for us.

***

Smug Pommie Cheat Strikes Again

The Brisbane Courier reports that a "wild dingo"

invaded the Gabba pitch and snatched five 

Aussie "Batting Babies" today.

***

Different Places, Different Planet

Actually I go to the pub all the time with Ed.

I mean my imaginary friend, Ed, of course.

***

It's All At The Co-Op

I'm not sure which line to take.

***

Nothing To Hide

I spy with my little eye

something beginning with

leak.

***

Hammond Plays Battleships

I can assure the House that the closure of Portsmouth

has nothing to do with the Scottish Independence referendum.

It's a matter of cost: Glasgow labour is cheaper as we

can get away with paying them with 

deep-fried Mars bars.

***

Divali Dave

Christ, Sam. I think I've got an

infra-red rifle sight trained on my forehead.

***

Copping The Oath

We promise to spout bollocks,

total bollocks,

and nothing but bollocks.

***

See also:  Stop And Smear.

Remember This? Headline Grabbers

Back in the day at The News Of The World

we were Old School.

If it shagged we nailed it.

From 3.6.2013.

***