Positive Role Model

Ashley's promised not to swear at, spew over,

shoot or shag anyone for a day

so I've made him captain.

***

Postcard

I've come to Europe to get away from it all.

***

The Pop-Eyed Eurocrats

The ban on Olive Oil Jugs is reversed but

keeping spinach under your shirt definitely

contravenes EU Regulations.

***

Another Door Closes

Whisky A-Gone-Gone.

***

Trend It Like Beckham

My legacy is pants.

***

Groucho Speaks

I could never support a Private Members Bill

that would allow me to be a member of it.

***