One Man Went To Moan

It was a massive mistake to call me interim manager.

They should have called me interim scapegoat.

***

See also:  Managers R Us.

Scraping The Barrel

Damn. I thought the New Statesman was Tory.

***

A Touching Apology

I'm sorry

He's dodgy

I'm sorry

He's horny

I'm sorry

He's beastly

I'm sorry

'Bout Eastleigh

***

There's The Rub

We're Liberal-Democrats.

We flirt with voters, we flirt with Labour, we flirt with power.

Frottage is in our DNA.

***

What Kate Did

And did I mention she's a coke-head, a racist

and shoots cats and dogs with a crossbow?

***

Up All Night

One Direction: out of Europe.

***

See also: Haribo Man Does It Again.

Icarus

Is it a bird?

Is it a 'plane?

No, it's Chris Huhne speeding into oblivion.

***

A Word From Our Sponsor

Actually... don't Just Do It at all.

***

via:  ‏@elliot_fernley

Learning The Lessons Of The Past

We will introduce a 10p tax band and we will

reverse it before we introduce it!

***

Not Seeing It Out

I thought it wouldn't count if I said it in Latin.

***

Meat

...And then we discovered it had traces of human in it.

***

Haribo Man Does It Again

For Britain this represents a triple lock:

A reduction in the budget

A reduction in the wage bill

And a reduction in lasagne.

***

Closer Examination

I am re-writing history before it is made.

***

'Till Death Do Us Part

The marriage, gay or otherwise, between

my party and myself as leader

can never be annulled as it is fully consummated.

I've fucked them and they have well and truly fucked me.

***

Alien Abduction...?

They say you're dead, Reg...

But I wanna know for sure.

***

link:  Crop Circles & UFO's.

Pryceless

Guilty, M'Lud.

But I'm asking my former wife to serve my sentence for me.

***