Party Pooper

You bastard, Ed.

You arranged this Union funded

"surprise" leaving party for me

BEFORE

the leadership election.

***

h/t: James Wildbore

*

He Was Too Heavy, He Was My Brother

MILI-MINOR:

Now take your fucking football and get out of here.

MILI-MAJOR:

Some banana republic, somewhere, will want me.

***

Exit Stage Right

MILI-MAJOR: Why are you clapping...?

HARMAN: Because my initials are HHH.

Harriet Hypocrisy Harman.

***

Will he, Won't He...?

No more Soap Opera!

Except, of course, for

Miliband of Brothers

***

Red Ed & Dead Ed

***

Let's Lurch

Ring out the New.

Bring back the old.

***

He Ain't Heavy - He's My Leader

Gizza a job.

***

You've Got Family

If I win then obviously David

will be my Shadow Chancellor.

If he wins then I'm taking my

Scalextric back.

***

Buy Me And Stop One

POPE: Oh! Now I get it! Condoms?

Anyone need condoms?

***

Careless Driver

I'm never gonna drive again

Guilty feet have got no road-sense

***

Number One Best [Self] Seller

CLINTON: Well deserved, Tony. A medal for

Taking The Liberty.

***

Suffer The Little Children...

Tickets...? Anyone need tickets...?

***

Dinosaurs Я Us

Thirteen years we've waited for this

opportunity. Now let's roll up our sleeves

and hold the country to ransom.

***

It's A God Thing

We will not burn the Koran. Not today, not ever.

Instead we will burn

"The Hungry Caterpillar".

***

Absence Of Predators

And not only do these Red Top Assassins

print, lies, smears and innuendo,

they also disseminate news - totally unacceptable.

***

Editorial Control

Yeah... I know. Thank God there's

a whale story today.

***

Reverse Spin

CAMERON: Look Andy, get them to publish the

hacking strory in The News Of The World

then nobody will believe it.

***

Pouring Oil On Troubled Waters

BP STATEMENT:

It wasn't really our fault because

technically the oil didn't belong to us.

***

Diamond Geezer

Er... am I missing something when

Lib-Dems keep calling me

"a complete banker"?

***

Tapping & Hacking

Hello... Oh, sorry My Lord - your number

must have still been in my contacts.

***

More "Males Sharing Twin Rooms" Fallout

WAYNE: Honest, Col, she means nothing.

I only did it to prove I'm not gay.

***

Zebedee About?

FLORENCE: So where's Uncle Nick?

***

Guido Gets His Man

The gay and the not-so-gay.

[Check out Guido Westerwelle before suing]

***

Vanity Blair

Basically what I am saying is this:

vote for me - even though I'm not standing.

***

One For The Journey

Hi. My name is Tony.

And I'm one unit short of

a full alkie.

***

Labour Members' Ballot Health Warning

Caution: may contain traces of nuts.

***