2010: Picture Of The Year

Bigotted Old Woman

explains politics to Gillian Duffy.

***

Oh Yes He Is!

BRYANT: Calling me a "Pantomime Dame" shows that

George Osborne is trying to make me

look rediculous.

***

link:  Oh Yes He Is!

*



Red Ed's Herod Strategy

HEALEY: We now discover that not only

has the Coalition cut 'flu' jabs

for the under fives

but they also are going to kill

the first born of every family in the country.

***

He Was Born A Pauper To A Pawn On Christmas Day

It's a little bit funny.

***

Technology Wizard Of Oz

PONTING: Are you blind, Ump?

Can't you see the Ashes slipping through my fingers?

***

No Mention Of The "A" Word, Then

Sport is extremely important to all

our young people.

I cannot, for the life of me, understand

why every school doesn't have

its own Polo team.

***

Who Put The Coal In Coalition?

Nasal spray for Ed;

Ciggies for Nick;

and cable-ties for Dave.

***

Absence Of Snow



I wanted to wish you all a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.

All, that is, except:

• David Miliband who is no longer on my Christmas Card List.
• New Labour - especially Mandelson - Dead Parrot or what? [the old jokes are the best].
• The Unions: I'm my own man so stop already with your talk of strikes and comrades.
• And, above all, Tony Blair and Gordan Brown: you're yesterday's men so go off and retire completely and shut the fuck up - no more books - and leave me in peace to screw up on my own.

[You may have noticed the disappearance of the White Patch: I got fed up with  Tom Baldwin bending over me and sniffing it all the time. And, no: there is no significance in the absence of snow on my Christmas Card].

***



Take Your [Senior] Partners, Vince

Shocking new revelations from secret recordings

have revealed that Conservative Ministers

"quite like" Liberal Democrats;

that they think that Nick Clegg is

"cute" and "harmless";

and that Vince Cable is a

"good egg"

who would have been welcomed

into the Bullingdon Club.

***

Foot In Mouth Disease

Of course I knew they were reporters.

I was just setting my own agenda, as usual.

***

Cable and Screw Loose?

The main problem is that the

wound in my foot

will restrict my dancing

on Strictly.

***

Red Ed's Cold Front

Len McCluskey, new boss of UNITE,

claimed today that the bad weather

that has closed Heathrow

was part of the Coalition's

"explicitly ideological programme"

to prevent the union going on strike against

British Airways.

***

Christmas Cards, Christmas Songs

CAMERON & CLEGG: [duet] I Got You, Babe.

MILI-MINOR: Oh No, Not My Baby.

***

Speaking In Blank Verse

Special 2 for 1 deal!

Policies WITH Jokes!

[or is it Joker without Policies?]

***

link: buy here

*

Come Now, Julian

A new perspective on

Wikileaks

has emerged with

Julian Assange

being accused of using a

broken condom.

***

Blogging a Dead Horse?

DALE: No more bloggin' but I will be

forever blowin' bubbles

[as Michael Jackson once said].

***

Thanks, Iain, and Good Luck!

*



Red Eddy, Yellow Eddy

I want to call on disillusioned

Liberal Democrats

to join with the Labour Party

which knows all about disillusionment

seeing as it's disillusioned with me.

***

And By The Way - Which One's Pink...?

He don't need no educay-shon...

***

Close, But No Cigar

Never have so few owed so much for

so many years.

***

Variety Of Life

CAMILLA: These are your subjects, Charles!

CHARLES: In that case I think I'll plump

for the pre-abdication option.

***

Now Is The Season...

I'm a Liberal.

I'm a Democrat.

Put them together and that makes me -

a complete Tosser.

***

see also: Promises Promises [below].

*

Promises Promises

"Aye" Lobby?

"No" Lobby?

"WTF" Lobby?

***

Order, Order, Grumpy

McLOUGHLIN: The Speaker has no right to

addess me from a sedentary position.

Ooops, sorry, Mr. Speaker. I thought

you were sitting down.

***

Big - But Not Clever

CLEGG: I shall vote with my conscience.

Dave, which way is that?

***

Scarlet Billows

The Foreign Office has warned

people about diving into

Liberal Democrat politics -

as sharks are circling.

***

No Racism At Russian World Cup

KATIA: I spy, with my little eye, something

beginning with N...

***

Sun May Go Down Later

From The Sun:

An artist's impression of what

night may be like if the

daylight-saving plan is introduced.

***

link: daylight-saving

Putin's Greatest Hits

No-one schmoozes like the Russian Mafia.

***

Bend It Like Cameron

CAMERON: So, Wills, you invite the delegates to

the wedding; David you offer them a

night with Posh; and I'll give

them a Knighthood, a personal photographer

and a free holiday in Thailand.

***

I'm Cable And Shameless

Strictly Come Abstaining.

***

Leaking The Bleedin' Obvious

Shock News: The United States

slags off other countries without telling them!

***

A Socialist Expounds

RED ED: We have to go on a journey... so

jump aboard my moped everyone.

***

Very Cold Turkey

It's gonna be a

bootiful fooneral.

***

In-Flight Entertainment

Damned Commoners and their

breeding habits.

This country will rue the day after

April 29th, you mark my words.

***

Ed's Migrating Brain

The problem is 80% of my

information comes from

Gordon Brown.

***

Top Of The Mourning...

At least they've still got

one liquid asset.

***

Red Ed Comes Of Age

I am now a fully fledged

Opposition Leader

because I used the word

"Disgraceful"

whilst not wearing a tie.

***

No More Sitting For Stand-Up

ALEX: Tch, tch, Jason: knocked out of One for

knocking one out?

***

Berlusconi Loves A Mars

VENUS: Two little pricks in the office are

better than one, I suppose.

***

link:  Berlusconi Loves A Mars

*

Plighting The Troth

WILLIAM: Well I thought I'd make use of

my Mum's ring and my Dad's fidelity.

***

Royal Wedding Special

Austerity measures blah!

The Nation can afford it!

***

Your Starter For Five To Ten

Oh My God - someone's started a

fire down there!

I'd better chuck down this

extinguisher!

***

We Pledge To Break Our Promise

Drowning in clear yellow water.

***

140 Characters

Censored redacted expunged bowdlerized

erased stifled suppressed expurgated

screened edited revised squashed

repressed smothered.

Twittered.

***

I Could've Predicted A Riot

Look everyone!

This hammer miraculously appeared

in my hand!

***

Can't Pay, Won't Pay

...And we demand to be treated like adults:

we want an end to cheap booze in Union bars,

no more subsidized travel and

rent that properly reflects full commercial rates.

***

China 9, Liberty 37

GOVE: Dave, do you think now would be

a good time to mention the

Nobel Prizewinning Dissident...

OTHERS: Shuddup and keep drinking.

***

The Buck Stops... Er... Over There Somewhere

Water boarding...?

I'm told it's just like surf boarding but you

don't get the tan.

***

Who's Yer Uncle?

We haven't decided on a name yet - but it's not

going to be David.

***

One's Social Network

So... who's going to be first to

Poke the Queen?

***

Where There's Smoke

Penny for the fall-guy.

***

Smile!

CAMERON: And these are my own

personal paparazzi.

***