Thursday, 31 December 2009

2009: Picture Of The Year

"I told you I didn't want to be seen with you again."

"Oh. Sorry, Damian".


Quo's New Status

ROSSI:  OBE? Not bad on just three chords, eh Rick?

PARFITT:  I'm so old I've forgotten two of them.



Well done lads - fully deserved.

Question: Why does Patrick Stewart get a Kighthood and Quo get OBE?


Wednesday, 30 December 2009

Undercover Agents

STEWARDESS: Excuse me sir, are you carrying a bomb?


DUTCH PASSENGER: Liar! Liar! Pants on Fire!


Tuesday, 29 December 2009

Ass Pleads For Mule

TRANSLATOR: ...and if we are prepared to
excute a mad drug mule
what chance was there that we would listen to
the Mad Prime Minister
of Great Britain?



Tuesday, 22 December 2009

99 Shopping Days To The Election?

GORDON: Shall I stuff the Turkey, dear?

SARAH: You've had plenty of practice
stuffing the country.


Sunday, 20 December 2009

Political Climate Change

You didn't think we were serious when we said:
"Copenhagen is the World's last chance"
did you?
We meant -
Last Chance before Christmas.


Friday, 18 December 2009

Boomerang Effect

OK, listen everyone:
if you're going to start throwing the mobiles
back at me - I'm ready.


Monday, 14 December 2009

Sarah's Phone Bills

The reason why I made lengthy calls to
Gil in Canterbury at tax-payers' expense
is because
Gordon had thrown my mobile
at somebody.



Friday, 11 December 2009

Brown's See-Through Transparency

It's not a Summerhouse:
it's a building in the garden.

And it's not a deficit:
it's a set of figures that demonstrate my
Fiscal Prudence.



Thursday, 10 December 2009

What A Balls-Up

Give it here!
If I have to pay the expenses back
I'm taking the
Sponsored Ball
with me as well.


Wednesday, 9 December 2009


BROWN: Did you mention the cuts?

DARLING: No, I forgot.

BROWN: No worries.


Tuesday, 8 December 2009

Hot Debate

And the award for
"Most Innovative Idea To Combat Global Warming"
goes to...
Gordon Brown of the UK.
Heathrow - Third Runway.


Friday, 4 December 2009

Star Quality

Just walk away, Renee
You won't see me in a Witherspoons



Thursday, 3 December 2009

Post Early For...

Two years late?
Well don't blame me - blame The Postman.


Una Paloma Wanka

Gordon, Spain is NOT in the G20.

Oh, right.
When did it leave?


...And Into The Fire Hydrant


[I think three's quite enough, Mr Woods]



[Ten...???!!! You definitely won't make the cut now, Mr Woods.]