Thursday 28 February 2013

One Man Went To Moan



It was a massive mistake to call me interim manager.

They should have called me interim scapegoat.


***

See also:  Managers R Us.

Monday 25 February 2013

A Touching Apology



I'm sorry
He's dodgy
I'm sorry
He's horny
I'm sorry
He's beastly
I'm sorry
'Bout Eastleigh


***

Saturday 23 February 2013

There's The Rub



We're Liberal-Democrats.
We flirt with voters, we flirt with Labour, we flirt with power.
Frottage is in our DNA.


***

Tuesday 19 February 2013

What Kate Did



And did I mention she's a coke-head, a racist
and shoots cats and dogs with a crossbow?


***

Friday 15 February 2013

Thursday 14 February 2013

Tuesday 12 February 2013

Not Seeing It Out



I thought it wouldn't count if I said it in Latin.


***

Monday 11 February 2013

Meat



...And then we discovered it had traces of human in it.


***

Friday 8 February 2013

Haribo Man Does It Again



For Britain this represents a triple lock:

A reduction in the budget
A reduction in the wage bill
And a reduction in lasagne.


***

Wednesday 6 February 2013

'Till Death Do Us Part



The marriage, gay or otherwise, between
my party and myself as leader
can never be annulled as it is fully consummated.

I've fucked them and they have well and truly fucked me.


***

Tuesday 5 February 2013

Alien Abduction...?



They say you're dead, Reg...

But I wanna know for sure.


***


link:  Crop Circles & UFO's.