Yellowing Sheets

You've made your bed, Mr Clegg, now

you have to lie on it.

***

The Price Is Wrong

We'd love to sell our Royal Mail shares

but unfortunately they've been lost in the post.

***

Vince & Nick's Shaky Coalition

Oh, Air conditioning!

Sorry, Vince, I thought it was Hair conditioning.

***

Being Liberal With The Truth

In fact Rupert Murdoch was driving and he asked me to take

his points for him and I thought it was fairer if Vicky did.

***

See also:  Back Together Kind Of

                Punishment Fitting The Crime

                Pryceless

***

Back Together, Kind Of

What therefore God hath joined together, let not
your Man

put asunder.

Mark 10.9.                                    .

***

Punishment Fitting The Crime

And the most suitable punishment that this court

can impose is that you should

share a cell together for six months.

***

No Such Thing As Bad Publicity

I told you it would work, Mike.

Now all we have to do is leak and invent as much

Lib-Dem scandal as possible just before the next election.

***

A Touching Apology

I'm sorry

He's dodgy

I'm sorry

He's horny

I'm sorry

He's beastly

I'm sorry

'Bout Eastleigh

***

There's The Rub

We're Liberal-Democrats.

We flirt with voters, we flirt with Labour, we flirt with power.

Frottage is in our DNA.

***

Icarus

Is it a bird?

Is it a 'plane?

No, it's Chris Huhne speeding into oblivion.

***

Pryceless

Guilty, M'Lud.

But I'm asking my former wife to serve my sentence for me.

***

Rose [Garden] Tinted Spectacles

I actually don't see it as a "onesie": I see it as a Designer Boiler Suit.

In the same way that I don't see it as a Coalition:

I see it as a Designer People's Government.

***

link:  onesie agrees with Nick

Who Put The Coal In Coalition?

Nasal spray for Ed;

Ciggies for Nick;

and cable-ties for Dave.

***

Take Your [Senior] Partners, Vince

Shocking new revelations from secret recordings

have revealed that Conservative Ministers

"quite like" Liberal Democrats;

that they think that Nick Clegg is

"cute" and "harmless";

and that Vince Cable is a

"good egg"

who would have been welcomed

into the Bullingdon Club.

***

Foot In Mouth Disease

Of course I knew they were reporters.

I was just setting my own agenda, as usual.

***

Cable and Screw Loose?

The main problem is that the

wound in my foot

will restrict my dancing

on Strictly.

***

Close, But No Cigar

Never have so few owed so much for

so many years.

***

Now Is The Season...

I'm a Liberal.

I'm a Democrat.

Put them together and that makes me -

a complete Tosser.

***

see also: Promises Promises [below].

*

Promises Promises

"Aye" Lobby?

"No" Lobby?

"WTF" Lobby?

***

Big - But Not Clever

CLEGG: I shall vote with my conscience.

Dave, which way is that?

***